It Only Hurts The First Time
by SeaSaw
Summary: Naughty naughty writing fun for me. Definitley not kid safe. If you thought the first one was bad... Adult themes sex, mild non-consentual concepts, intimacy John/OC don't flame me please.


**Okay so I went a little worse this time around with the smut.**

**Don't shoot me, I just wanted to have some fun.**

**For those of you reading, this is no way part of the storyline, it's just entertainment for me and those who care to read it.**

**M Rated boys and girls...don't read if you know you shouldn't and don't flame me if you do. :)**

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Her foot tapped against the floor lightly as she sat at a table with a pencil in her mouth, currently using her thumb to lightly smear the lines of lead she recently put down. She always enjoyed artwork and instead of drawing some sick and twisted implement of someone's demise she was currently drawing what was in her mind. Playing out on the scrap of paper was a wide open field with a single tree in the middle, a few birds lifting out from the tall grass and some dark clouds hanging in the sky. Looking over the drawing she sighed a bit and took the pencil out of her mouth, setting it down and leaning back in the chair. Everything lately was so aggressive and gloomy with her and she had to learn to center this into something productive, but how the hell would she manage that?

Her mind drifted off to that night a few weeks ago with John and she almost lost her balance leaning back in the chair, completely distracted. "Fuck, enough of that." she scolded herself as she stood up and pushed the chair in before stretching her back out and rolling her head side to side. She looked over at the doorway that led to John's room before she headed over to it, tightening the ponytail she currently had her hair in. Pushing the flaps aside she peered into the room around the corner to see John sitting at his desk working very diligently. If she bothered him he might get upset, so she opted to leave instead, but John was well aware of her presence in the doorway.

He didn't even stop drawing, didn't look up from what he was doing, just spoke softly, "Yes?" She didn't budge at first so he slowly started to stop drawing, just leaving the pencil pressed to the paper - he was getting a bit agitated. She started to leave the room without answering him and he realized his tone might have caused her to hesitate but he really was rather busy so he set the pencil down and made a demand, not a request "Don't you go anywhere. Get back in here and tell me what you want."

She froze in the doorway before stepping through the flaps and rubbed the back of her neck nervously at the way he just spoke to her. She remained in the doorway as she spoke softly "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother you. I was honestly just coming to…make sure you were okay."

John turned his head to look at her, studying her quietly. Her hair was in a bit of disarray the way she sloppily placed it in that ponytail and those jeans she was wearing hugged every tiny little of her butt, legs, and thighs. John hated when she wore one of those little tank tops she was wearing unless she was asleep in it because not only did it show off more skin then he wanted other people seeing (forgive his protective nature, he didn't know where it came from sometimes) but it also distracted him and made Hoffman act like a damn animal. It wasn't her fault though, she was simply wearing what was available to her and John debated numerous times on trying to get different clothing for her. Now John couldn't be expected not to succumb to earthly desires like every other man, I mean, after all he was just aging and sick, not dead yet. His face contorted as he felt a strange desire overwhelm him and after what happened a few weeks ago he couldn't get her scent out of his mind. He thought for a few minutes before smirking rather deviously and motioned with a finger for her to come over to him. He watched her slowly step away from the doorway towards him but she still wasn't close enough. "Closer." he shot her what could be determined as a dangerous look and for a moment she paused, hesitant before she realized disobeying him wasn't the best idea. Once she was close enough that he could smell her and read every little expression she tried to mask he motioned for her to sit in the chair next to the desk. He picked his pencil back up to finish the last little details of his current drawing before speaking "How did you feel a few weeks ago when you were at my mercy?"

She blinked a couple times at the question, reaching up and rubbing at her biceps as she looked at him finishing up what looked to be a rather disturbing trap. When she didn't answer she saw him slow his hand movement before stopping entirely and she let her tongue run over her lips for a moment. "Umm, what do you mean? What…are you referring to?"

John sighed and then shook his head a bit, setting his pencil down before standing and picking all the papers up off the desk, setting them aside on one of the shelves. He walked back over to the desk as she was still closely watching him and bent down, placing his hands on either side of her arms. She was surprised when he suddenly gripped her arms tightly and hoisted her out of the chair, spinning her around and practically sitting her on top of his desk. Her back was against the wood and she had one leg up as if to balance herself before John reached down and pushed it down, stepping between her legs. "You don't remember the night I helped you release all those frustrations keeping you from sleeping at night?" He trapped her to the desk with his body and her eyes widened as she watched him very cautiously, hands pressed up against the wood just like his that were on either side of her body.

"…you're scaring me. I mean, more so then you've done before. Did I do something wrong? And…of course I remember but…" Hazel eyes were locked with what could be called his soul-less blues. John seemed to thrive a great deal more when she said he was scaring her - it really wasn't his intention, but he couldn't deny the strange carnal feeling it gave him. She felt their bodies touching and groaned a bit, trying not to fidget too much since she could feel that whatever was happening was turning him on. "John, I don't think that this is right…"

"I told you it came with a price, you remember that? Remember the rules you had to follow?" he saw the light bulb come on as he mentioned their terms that night and smiled, one hand moving down to the button on her jeans and very skillfully flicking it undone before he pulled down her zipper. Her felt her flinch and she scooted a bit higher onto his desk so he reached up, grabbing her arms and pulling her down till she pretty much ran into him. Now John may have been sick, but it appeared animal instincts gave him a unique strength, in fact he didn't feel a bit plagued by cancer at this juncture. "It's time to pay up…" he growled his statement out as he stepped back, grabbing the waistband of her jeans and pulling them down, his fingers having hooked into her underwear and taking them with him. He watched as she suddenly brought her legs up, trying to hide what John had already seen weeks ago, shaking his head slowly and pulling her legs back down, standing between them. He saw she was getting a bit more freaked out then he wanted so he reached up with his right hand, gently caressing her cheek. She flinched and closed her eyes at first, but his gentle touch always seemed to calm her and she couldn't really explain it. Fingers brushed over her cheek gently before his hands slid up under the hem of her shirt, lighting brushing against her skin.

Oh god, it was happening again and she didn't understand any of it. She trembled under his touch - the man knew how to touch a woman, she couldn't deny that. She bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes as she felt his fingers brush against her nipples (it figured she'd be dumb enough not to wear a bra today). She noticed the look in his eyes had changed to a mixture of lust and love as he lightly brushed him thumbs against her nipples again. She bit back a moan before he slid his hands out, grabbing the hem of her shirt and lifting it up over her head. She lay there before him, completely vulnerable and exposed in the same fashion she was when Hoffman had her trapped but this felt different.

John lifted his shirt up over his head before tossing it to the floor and reached down, unbuttoning and unzipping his pants. Granted, there were consequences to getting so unbelievably close to her and she could very easily reject the idea of this, but John had a need to fulfill and he actually trusted her to remain the same, regardless of what they did in this moment. He knew he had to make this less frightening to her since she seemed terrified and shocked in the same moment so he leaned forward, pressing his lips against her own and for a moment she didn't reciprocate, but slowly relaxed and gave in to his affections. It had to have been ages since she was intimate and physical with another person, the way she writhed on his bed those nights ago was a clear clue.

When he removed his shirt, for the first time she saw the scar from the car accident he explained to her. He tried to kill himself years ago and failed…just like her. They shared something very unique and disturbing at the same time. As his lips pressed against her own she just closed her eyes, trembling a bit underneath of him as she felt his hands slid down her legs. One hand trailed between her legs, once again feeling his fingers brushing against the most sensitive part of her body. She gasped into his mouth as, without hesitation, he slid two fingers inside of her, working them much quicker then he did in the past.

He was glad his plan worked, pumping his fingers a bit harder and faster off the bat got her extremely wet and well prepared for what he was about to do. Slipping his fingers out of her wetness without breaking their lip lock, he reached down and pushed his pants down, exposing the length of himself that was throbbing with an aching need. He made sure to take care as he very gently slid inside the warmth of her body, feeling her tense a bit and even he had to stop, breaking their kiss and dropping his head, panting a bit - it had been such a long time for him that it was overwhelming. He picked his head up and smiled, sliding in the rest of the way before frowning at her reaction. She was so uneasy and he leaned in, whispering softly into her ear "This isn't going to hurt, I promise." He felt her relax and smiled, directing her gaze towards him as he slowly slid out before sliding back in. He felt her heart racing and as her breath hitched he knew he had the green light to continue. Sliding back out and back in very slowly once again, John reveled in the sight of her shuddering on top of his desk with his movements.

She tried to stop herself from enjoying this too much but the sensations were impossible to ignore and in spite of everything she had to give credit where it was due - John, with all his years, was a very skilled and intimate lover. She moaned even when she was fighting desperately not to and much more audibly then she intended as well. It was impossible to keep still and not writhe underneath of John's scrutinizing gaze as he moved within her body; it had been too long without the touch of another human being for her, especially like this. Was she giving in then by surrendering her body to him like this?

John wanted her to give in, give in completely - he figured he would have a much better time creating a solidifying bond that would stay with him until his or her death (preferably his first since she had so many more years to live her life). He began thrusting faster, reaching around and grabbing her thighs, pulling her against his body as he did so. He had to be careful not to lose too much control, but John was human. He closed his eyes and his head rolled back a bit as he started to thrust feverishly, pounding harder into her hips and his hands slid to the wooden desk, taking hold of her wrists and pinning them down as he became a lustful, wild kind of animal. She was panting hard, little beads of sweat forming on her skin and he could see them trailing down between her breasts, sending him into a frenzy. John took a moment to collect himself, slowing down his thrusting a bit; he needed to be gentle with her after Hoffman. He peered into those hazel eyes of hers and with the grasp on her wrists, pulled her up into a sitting position "Wrap your arms around my neck." He smirked as she did as he commanded, then leaned in, whispering softly, gently to ease those nerves he could see taking hold "I'm going to guide your hips to the speed I want. I want you to take some control." With that he slid his hands down her sides to her hips and started to pull and push them away at a painfully slow pace, even for him. Groaning, he continued till he built her up to the speed he wanted "…keep moving, don't you stop." He was surprised as she did as he commanded, rocking her hips back and forth and that was when he could finally see her desire taking over as she dropped her head back with her eyes closed, moaning softly. Her nails dug into his back but he didn't mind it at all, just enthralled by the look of her in complete bliss.

They remained entangled in a slow and painful pace for at least fifteen minutes before John, growling lowly grabbed her hips, his nails digging into them and started to push and pull her much harder and faster. She gasped and bit her bottom lip in response, arching her back and shivering. Reaching up with his right hand John took a hold of her hair and pulled her head back just a bit, pressing his lips to the exposed flesh of her neck, tasting the saltiness of her sweat covered skin and taking in her intoxicating smell. "Tell me what you want…" he demanded an answer and thrusted hard into her body, feeling her muscles clench around his member violently, jerking forward a bit in response - hold on, let go with her and watch her fall into your every wish. "Tell me."

Her chest was rising and falling rapidly, she was struggling to keep herself quiet before he asked his question. "J-John…I…fuck…" every movement of his body, whether fast or slow was painful as much as it was pleasurable. Should she really be doing this? He was luring her in and she was taking the bait, completely helpless at his command. "Oh god…don't stop."

John grinned and continued at the slow and steady pace, still not hearing what he wanted to hear. "Tell me what you want."

She was trembling uncontrollably, her muscles twitching with every eager desire to just release. "What…what do you want me to…to say?" as she gasped out her question as John completely withdrew the length of his member before gripping her hip tighter and just lightly pulling on her hair. He was going to stop, just like that? It was horrible, but she wanted him to finish, to complete this unlikely union. She was getting frustrated, her body quivering as John growled his demand one more time and then she lost control "John just fuck me!"

It wasn't exactly how he wanted her to say it, but none-the-less it was what he wanted as he thrusted almost violently into her, pounding away at a fierce pace. The sting of his nails digging painfully into her hips as he released her hair was enough to send fire ripping through her nervous system combined with the sensation of him filling her and sending her to the edge. John panted hard, placing a hand in the middle of her back as he spoke raggedly "…come on…you belong to me now." With his final statement John threw his head back, crying out before bringing it forward in enough time to watch her entire body convulse and hear her call his name in her last moment of euphoria. He continued to move slowly to drive her through her orgasm before he felt her go limp in his arms, pulling her close and holding her tightly.

Her head was against his shoulder, her body shivering against his own. What just happened? This wasn't right, it couldn't be, but how could she tell him 'no'? She was so afraid of suffering the consequences, so afraid of hurting him and enraging him at the same time. She lost control and gave it all away to John, a feeling that cut deeper then the blade of the knife that entered her abdomen four times in a row.

Quickly following their tryst, exhausted, she fell asleep in his bed, curled up against the wall. John had carried her over to it and laid her down before disappearing to go take a shower and get something to eat. When he returned he debated on going back to work, however that could at least wait for tomorrow. Right now he just wanted to watch her peacefully. She looked like an innocent young woman lying there in his bed but John knew the truth about the demons that plagued her. It was a shame that she fell victim to so many of the vices those less deserving then her did. He sat down on the bed, reaching over and brushing a stand of hair away from her face so he could look at her. John's plan was to break her down and hopefully bring them closer while fulfilling his desires and her own, but he worried that this idea would backfire on him. Not that she would suffer the same fate Amanda did at his affections, but that perhaps he may have broken her too far. Only time would tell, but for the night not only could she sleep easy, John could finally do the same.


End file.
